(Work-life balance meant eating balanced meals - not healthy, but balanced. Balanced meals that included a little bit of protein, carbs, and sugars because I am not disciplined enough to eliminate carbs and sugars from my diet. I believe in . . . balance. Work-life balance meant to comfortably work out 3 to 5 times a week, even if that meant taking the stairs. Comfortable workouts meant I did not push myself to the brink of exhaustion because working part- or full-time alone was exhausting for me, as an introvert. Work-life balance also meant eliminating some debt before cutting my income in half. I was able to pay off my car, my zoom zoom became all mine before starting my program! So, with balanced meals, comfortable workouts, and lower debt, I surely knew I was ready to take the jump into the PhD program.)
Just the other day, like literally 6 days ago, an opinion piece was published in Inside Higher Ed -
The Hidden Challenges for Successful First-Generation Ph.D.s. It was shared with me by a former student and current mentee of mine who related to it. I opened the link and decided to take a break from my writing to read it. As I read the opening passage, I could not help but think about how I made it to this point as a first-generation student. Surely there have been many missed opportunities - moments where people with influential power controlled the outcomes and no matter what I did, without institutional capital, I would not have known how to navigate those situations. However, I have always been a believer in the saying, "Things happen for a reason". My family values and upbringing taught me to take each day as it comes and hold strong to champions. My champions are the reason I am here today. They saw a potential in me that I did not see in myself until I got admitted into the program. And even today, I continue to doubt myself. But I hold strong to these champions because, in those moments of doubt, I look towards them for validation and affirmation! Being a first-generation anything is a constant process of validation. Am I doing it right? Did I hit all the targets? Is that what you were looking for? How do you do it? How did you know to do that? Why did I not know that? The questions are endless. And they are not new. They have followed me my entire educational life and will do so in my career.
So, when my advisor asked for a very rough draft of my first three chapters, I was cool and collected at first. After all, most of my assignments have been building up to this moment. I figured, "I gotcha, I'll get it done". This weekend I sat down with my laptop to slowly being constructing my dissertation. I froze. I realized I had no idea what I was doing. I don't think many of us do. However, you know those moments where you know the energies are pushing you towards something greater? Well, I was reminded of a tiny little book that was assigned as a recommended reading to us in my research course for my master's program. When I remembered I had it, I felt the energies of affirmation from my champions. I realized that I was in the right place at the right time. I have my breakfast every morning, make sure I work out 3-5 times a week and practice healthy spending habits (sometimes 😏) in order to find that balance between my life and my academics. I can do this. If I take it one day at a time and trust in the affirmations of my champions, it will happen someday.
This is my balanced meal with cheese 😁
So, if you are a first-generation college student and you are debating to apply or to start a PhD program, or a master's program, or accept that job away from home, think about (1) the champions in your life and (2) the habits that bring balance to your life. Those champions and healthy habits are the circles that can help provide guidance on the most isolating moments of our lives. Be the first to do anything even if that means taking the stairs.
